And tides they turn, and hearts disfigure

xx
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[info]joyrideparade



Comment to be added (:

xx,
Bianca

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#615 Without you
B
[info]joyrideparade

Best girls in the world.

It's been quite awhile!! Since the last time I blogged, I finally had my Teamwork in action activity, had the Anat oral presentation, fell pretty sick and favgirls came to Brisbane and left for home. I can't believe its already Week 12, one more week of school, 1 week for studying, end of semester exams and then its back to Singapore!! Semester 1 is going to be over soon O:, scary how time flies by so quickly. Can't wait to go back and dance everyday!!!!!!! Miss my SHHK friends v v v much! 

My group volunteered for the Mother's Day classic walk/run and we were allocated to the water station. We had to wake up super early to catch the bus to the city and then to west end plus we walked a whole lot to our water station but I enjoyed the event. We were to fill up plastic cups and hand them to the participants during the run. It was quite an interesting experience, the hiong runners would run past and grab it from you and water would splash everywhere super eggciting. and the fun walkers had enough time to walk to the table to grab their own water. Most participants were really nice and thanked us with smiles and 'good job's, so it was a very pleasant experience overall. Just realized I have yet to complete the online module and reflections... 

Had a horribly high fever from Wednesday to Friday. Seriously the worst feeling ever, hot cold hot cold.... My fever kept spiking to 38.9 - 39.9 and it scared the hell out of me because I don't really fall sick. Had to keep taking panadol and my temperature and I was so sick of having to lie in bed. Thankful for Jialing who made me barley and porridge. Don't ever want to fall sick like that again, going to keep my body from being heaty!! D: 

I had the best time having the favgirls over in Brisbane. Can't wait for Hui to get to the Brissy/Gold coast photos, she has loads from Melbs too! Really enjoyed their company throughout the 6 days, bringing them around Brisbane (mostly the limited places I have discovered), the weekend trip to Gold coast for Movie world and the beaches and mostly the much missed heart to heart talks. Photos soon!! (: I know I haven't really been myself here, been quite unhappy, uptight and stressed up. I've always been one who is able to resolve my thought and emotions, do something about the situation or the way I feel about the situation. But recently, I've been feeling very helpless about my unhappiness here and very very tired of feeling sad all the time. There are a lot of things I'm thankful for and a lot of things I like about this place, I really couldn't put my finger on what exactly was wrong. I know my parents and friends were/are very worried.  I think the girls couldn't have come at a better time. I was really that close to losing myself. Its a timely remind of who I  am, what's important to me, what I need in my life. Very thankful for the talk with Hui the last night after everyone left, I really really really needed that. So thankful for people who sometimes know me better than I know myself, people that remind me who I am and what I need when I've lost my way, people who love me despite my shortfalls. Long way to go, but I feel like I've got new courage. 

Stressed out about going back to dance for the performance )': Fitness level is not pit bottom but nowhere near my state before I came over. Left hip is tight tight tight. Oh and Tracy said there's a master class she teaches on Friday nights at Oxley but that's far ): Hopefully there'll be transport, or I persuade my parents to get me a car next semester. Really really want to take my ballet to the next level. Beginners is getting a little boring though I think that doing basics is always good for working the muscles. Will get to sewing the ribbons onto my new pointe shoes this weekend so I can break into them on the coming Monday! Shiny satin shoes are so pretty~~~ 

Season finale for Grey's was really... omg such a horrible cliffhanger. I wish it was a 2 hour episode, really hate being left hanging until Fall! HIMYM season finale was too awesome~ hehe super happy about how it turned out. Can't wait for the next season!! Waiting for my Glee season finale now! (: Haven't been continuing with my One tree hill, still 3/4 through season 1... super duper old school! Probably want to start on New girl, rewatch House from the start and watch White collar too! So many shows to watch!! I also went to find all the superhero movies after I caught avengers with Juani! I liked it, though she didn't find it v good. Oh and now I suddenly feel like eating Grill'd!! Delicious juicy meat patties with nicely toasted burger buns ahhhhh D:

Not much time to study for the end of semester exams and stupid PHTY practical timetable isn't out yet ):< hurry, I want to firm the date for my flight back ughhhhh! Gonna be a hard 1 month ahead but the pot of gold at the end is a great motivation (:

and finally, Happy Birthday Daddy!!! <3 

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#613 Brave new world
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[info]joyrideparade
Yesterday night I went to bed with a heavy heart. I didn't know him personally I only knew of him. I hope that his family, close friends and his girlfriend stay strong. Shenyang wrote, "what happens to someone you somehow know of yet didn't exactly know in person, would still send everyone hurtling into a deep black hole of sadness, sudden awakening, emptiness & fear." The whole accident affected me in ways I've never experienced before. Maybe its to do with being far away from people I really care about. There was someone else I care a lot about involved. I was reading the conversations we had back when we were close and then I see how far we've drifted apart. I hope you are okay, I really really do.

This morning I awoke to a great amount of posts by 09/10 batch of HC, seniors and juniors. We're so interconnected, everyone knows everybody, everyone is a friend of a friend. It took something like this, to pull us all back, to remind us to treasure each other and the best times with had in school as a batch. Only when something so unfortunate like this has happened, do we realize the need to reconnect with all those we have lost contact with, for a long time, or for a little while. Somewhere each person in our lives holds a bigger part of us than we realize. and we wouldn't want to have any accident or mishap to make us see how much. Everything else seems so trivial, the grudges, the things we blame each other for, they don't matter anymore. 

Stay safe everyone, for the people who love you. 
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#611 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINTZ
B
[info]joyrideparade
Happy 20th Birthday dearest Mina! <3 
Been awesome having 4 years of Secondary school with you. All your crazy antics and funny crappy names for people and fishes etc etc. These 7+ years have been pretty damn amazing!! Luv you plenty!





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#609 Come morning light
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[info]joyrideparade

New lj layout. Got bored and really loving the grayish pink color scheme. Keep using my gray and pink mild liners together these few days.

Mid week and I'm feeling extremely nua lub lub. All I feel like doing is sinking into my bed... Can I please sleep, eat, shop without a care in the world? Want to eat and enjoy food but my mind keeps drifting to that fluorescent orange skin tight dai zu costume I have to squeeze when I get back and the guilt piles on. Its the same with studying and shopping, a never ending cycle of guilt ):< 

Feeling kinda bummed out. Mid sems were finally over after Monday's PHTY1110 theory exam and I was so relieved and happy it was over. Thought I could finally give myself a well deserved break then I realized how easy and quickly you can lag behind. Major bummerrrrrrrrr. University is so intense, full steam ahead all the way, it never lets up, just got to keep on going. Keep it together!

Anyway friends back home, congratulations on finishing Year 1! Enjoy your holidays! (: Tons of things I want to do during the holidays but its so far away... 

Ballet on Mondays and Wednesdays now, got my back loosened up a little (thank goodness) and really enjoying class despite the retarded commute via the citycat. I want a car.

NYCD's showcase is coming up this week and the juniors and laoshi are working really hard. Hope its awesome and the girls enjoy themselves throughly. Can't help but think back to Season of Blooms 2008, such a meaningful event for all of us. So thankful to have had the chance to perform on the Esplanade theatre stage with all the lovely batch mates, juniors and seniors. (': ah good times. 

HC Dance night is also coming up this month. This year's dance night is called SWAG. Such a hipster name. Heard some stuff about the current organizing comm. Don't like their attitude towards Chinese dance. Anyhow, hope the HCCD juniors enjoy themselves and perform well. 

Looking forward to the weekend and a new episode of Grey's on Friday. My glee ep is taking forever to download.


Tiny Teddy Brownies, Green curry

Ma po Tofu, Grilled chicken xiao bai cai and hash brown

Carrot corn potato soup with steamed egg, NYC Ballet OPI Petites (Can't wait to use them)

Genu varus/ Knock knee at 18 months D:, New quilt set and pillow from Target 
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#607 Who are you when no one's watching?
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[info]joyrideparade

I'm feeling extremely screwed for next Monday's PHTY1110 mid sems (the last of my mid sems span over 5 weeks #foreverstudying) but I have no motivation to study either ):< There's so much to remember about development of posture / bipedal locomotion etc etc plus joint and muscle function plus moments and torque.. zzz physics. Its interesting studying the content but it sucks having examined on it. Wait isn't it like that for everything else... Stupid PHTY mod is so disorganized we have our lectures and practicals all jumbled up, block 2 then block 3 then back to block 2 -.- Okay I should stop complaining and get to it ):<

Its finally getting colder! We had a really foggy day last week and my housemate said, winter's here. The two days following that foggy day was really hot and humid and I was like, what winter! but now its really starting to get cold. It hit about 12 degrees yesterday night and I've started wearing my pullover at home even though its still warm enough to wear shorts and slippers in the day. I don't look forward to studying in the cold though! Yesterday I was home studying on Anzac day and my fingers got a little too cold for effective writing. >< Well, exam period is in winter hurray. 

Missed Alice in Wonderland and Romeo and Juliet at QPAC because I couldn't part with the money. $5.95 transaction fee, day light robbery! Been contemplating Hamburg Ballet's Mid summer's night dream in Aug/Sept and finally got down to booking my $95 ticket. Its in September but I can't wait already!! That'll be my first ballet since February omg. I miss Esplanade!! 

School hasn't really felt like school since we came back from Mid semester holidays. We had anatomy practical on Tuesday and anatomy theory on Friday and honestly that week was about nothing but studying for Anatomy. angsty angsty. I was pretty unsettled after practical because I kept second guessing myself at the stations. Surprisingly I did better than expected for prac. Studying for theory was painful and boring and I don't think I did very well for theory. Funny how anatomy prac results came back so quickly while anything with MCQ like anat theory and biology which we took about 3 weeks ago takes forever to come back. This week we had Anzac day public holiday and today we only had 2 hours of Biology (or rather chemistry) lecture because all Psyc lectures and tutorials this week have been cancelled. Gah and really wanted to go for the SSS Byron bay trip but stupid PHTY is on Monday /:

Went out on Friday after physio prac with Dew and Sarah for a yummy meal because we were all starving. Burger, fries and brownie in town was really delicious! Celebrated David's birthday on Saturday at Ribs and Rump, was really stuffed and sad I couldn't try the molten chocolate cake, it looked delishhhh. Went out with Jialing to Indooroopilly after school on Tuesday, I really miss KFC cheese fries~ ): Finally got my new quilt cover set, been eyeing it at Target for about a month. Got it at $30 instead of $60!! and bought an extra pillow. hehe really like it, feel like getting a set for my bed at home but ugh shall wait till I get extra cash. Oh and the month's coming to an end and I still have abit of surplus after melbourne expenses and hamburg tix \o. That said, cash from when my parents we're here has run out, I'll soon have to start withdrawing money ugh. 

Really want to get a car here, but my parents don't seem so keen on next sem. Hopefully next year. It'll be a lot more convenient to get around and travel during short breaks too. Ballet, sunny bank etc etc will be so much more accessible.

I have come to a point of exponentially increasing inflexibility and stiffness. Tried stretching my back a little before ballet on Monday and its really disgusting ): ): ): Its hard to get the kind of stretching and training I used to have every Sunday (and Wednesday). and I think Ballet tightens up the muscles a lot more. Hip flexors have a lot less strength than before. I get tired a lot fast en pointe, how am I going to go back and be an excited/scared/dead deer?? And I'm pretty sure I'm losing a lot of muscles and gaining fats even though my weight is still the same. Seems like one of the few things that makes me happy nowadays is food but I keep struggling with not wanting to get fatter ): Life sucks.

Gah Nana I miss you. 19 days till the favorite girls come to Brisbane!!! I hope life picks up from there 
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#604 Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
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[info]joyrideparade
My Melbourne trip was pretty damn amazing. (: Had the best time with Nana, we got to reminisce about old times, update each other on our lives now and just enjoy each other's company. It was really surreal, being in Australia with her. Who would have thought we'll ever get to be at this place 6 years old? Maybe she planned to be in Aussie but I wouldn't have imagined myself studying overseas. It was one of the trips we talked about after I decided to apply to Aussie, it was finally happening!! How I wish we were studying in the same city, I could really get used to that. Anyhow, it was nice visiting her place and getting a glimpse into her life in Aussie. Melbourne is a beautiful city, maybe it seems a lot more beautiful because Brisbane's not as metropolitan. I really do miss being in a city where things close late, or at least being not being in an ulu area. Nana knows a whole lot of good places to eat so we were feasting not stop! Food was delicious and quite authentic! Teh bing for many meals, kaya toast, char kuay teow, rice with dishes... etc etc. We also met up with Yining on the 2nd day for dinner and it was so much fun laughing about old times in NY and in HC! The first day I was there around 1pm and I took the mini bus down to her place. Met Yining to get Nana's keys because she had tutes and let myself into her place. I settled down abit and walked down to the city to explore. The weather was pretty nice, a good change to Brisbane's hot weather last week. Walked around till my feet were tired and settled in a cafe for a latte and an dark chocolate macaroon. Headed back to her place to meet her after her tutes ended and she brought me to Ant's Bistro for dinner. Day 2 was the crazy eating day! We went down to Queen Victoria Market to look around and had Spanish donuts, Bratwurst and bought brownies and a lamb something I can't remember what its called! Had this delicious strawberry banana smoothie (like Boost) that made me really full! Later she brought me to this really quaint cafe, Cafe Giraffe on Little Collins st for chicken risotto. Before heading home we dropped by her friend's shop for Banana Kaya toast and teh bing. After that we met Yining for dinner at Yingtai for delicious green curry, tom yam soup and crab fried rice. So much great food in a day! We skyped Hui that night too though we were both really exhausted. Idk why we kept sleeping around 3.30/4 even though we told ourselves to sleep early / study a little hahaha. The next morning we woke up pretty late and headed to Chinatown for lunch at Dessert House which actually serves a lot of mains loll. Yum yum yum! Got an egg tart too! Delicious hazelnut cake at Le Petit Gauche and I think we went DFO shopping that day! Got a Dotti skirt, shoes and yay cheap bras haha etc etc. (: Watched the fire show thing outside Crown casino and sat by the river looking at the Melbourne skyline for awhile. Went for dinner at a Malaya joint with great satay hor fun and char kuay teow. In food haven seriously!! Then she drove me around the city and to a bridge with a beautiful view of the city! Day 4 we set off on a mini road trip! To the strawberry farm first, where we were really really dumb and got escorted out because we were plucking strawberries from a forbidden area!! Super embarrassing and the guy was such an asshole about it, Nana got really pissed and kept eyeing the forbidden fruit!! Seriously epic! D: Strawberries were really red and sweet and delicious~~ I still have them in my freezer because they go bad really quickly. Next stop was the Koala Sanctuary which I vaguely remember being at when my family came to Melbourne when I was a lot younger. Then to Amaze N Things and finally to Philip Island to see the cute little penguins come back to their burrows. They are so cute~~~~~ I would love to go back and see them again!! and now I regret not buying the penguin soft toy hahaha!! After the penguin parade nana courageously drove back in the dark (Y) She's super steady behind the wheel, I wish I would get to that stage soon! Road trip was fun with snacks + good music + good company!! Day 5 was super rushed because my flight was at 3.20pm! We went to St Kilda's Beach with super dark blue water (maybe just in comparison to murky brisbane river. >< ) and I really really really loved the Beach boxes at Brighton! Super pretty <3!! 

Too lazy to link the photos, and I've got more anatomy to get to. )': Tuesday's practical exam was kinda scary, don't think I'll do well for that but ahwell... Let's hope Friday's MCQ doesn't go the same way zzz. 
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#602 Stand up straight
B
[info]joyrideparade

Flying to Melbourne tomorrow!!! (: Really cannot wait to meet Nana tomorrow, its only been 2 months but I'm so excited!!! Very soon the favgirls will be here too, so much to look forward too (': 

Okay I really really really want to go to Tokyo in April... The cherry blossoms are amazingggggggg. Cheesie keeps posting lovely photos of cherry blossoms on Instagram I practically liked every single one. I want to go there, next April please?? I kinda think its going to be yearly reality that we have papers after Mid Sem break hmm /: Okay maybe honeymoon in April? Haha when and if I ever get married lol. #foreveralone


Just came across this on tumblr, oh my god this has been what my life has been about the past 5 days, despite being on my mid semester break. Bones, muscles, landmarks etc etc etc. Doesn't help that the names and terms are very similar, and god knows how bad I am with spelling... Cheryl can testify. Well I got through the chapters as planned but still feeling insecure about it. Went to the GAF with Jialing to go through the practicals this morning. Really need to go back to joints and origins and insertions zzz.

Too much time alone at home does make me pretty cranky. At least I still had time for Grey's Anatomy (no more eps to watch ): and WHY DID OWEN CHEAT ON CRISTINA!!!), abit of running along the Brisbane River (so beautiful!), Sunnybank and cut my hair today!! My hair is 5 inches shorter, it was getting too long for my liking. I don't think I look different, feels a lot lighter though. May cut it shorter the next time.  

Date at RC a few days before I left. I miss these two girls, and Awfully Choc products heehee! I heard there's no more Butterscotch brownies ); Noooooo my fav!!
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#601 Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
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[info]joyrideparade
Mid Semester break is here! Had a Psych online quiz, Psych intro submission, Bio infection control assignment and Bio mid sem test so far. Feeling alright about these assignments / tests so far I guess. I think after a gap year, I've forgotten how to study, how I study. I don't trust myself to remember the things I go through. I struggled in secondary school because I was so lazy and I didn't do much work and in JC I was forced to work hard. I can't remember how I study, I've forgotten what works for me, I don't know which one's the real me when it comes to studies anymore. Am I lazy and lag behind, or am I the kind who keeps up and aims to do well? Its a strange conflict. All this while I'm always the one playing catch up in school, maybe I don't want to anymore? I feel like I need to maintain decent grades, show myself that my A level results weren't just by chance. Doesn't help that Jialing is a hardcore genius. I struggle between stressing myself to work harder and cutting myself some slack knowing that this self induced stress doesn't do me much good and feeling that I need my university life abroad to be more than just hardcore studying. 

3 days away from my trip to Melbs to visit Nana. I am so excited and I know its going to be an amazing trip. But I keep stressing myself out about my Anatomy practical and theory exams when I get back. I've got these 4 days to study hard and I'm planning to bring stuff to study over there. Ah I need to stop doing this to myself... 

Ahh anyway, life hasn't been all that bad. Been out to enjoy myself with friends quite a few times these 2 weeks. Cooking decent meals at home! Great ballet lessons on Mondays. Grey's Anatomy marathons. Friday afternoon out in town with Juani before heading over to QUT where Huixin, Wanting, Ayesha and Anna were great cooks and hosts! Mugging with Sarah and Juani at the Bioscience library one Saturday and dinner in town with the two and Dew. Salmon dinner over at Cheryl's place and Dim sum supper after. Post-bio-hello holidays at max branner South bank and shopping at Queen's St with Juani Sarah and Claire. First run in Brisbane along the river yesterday with Jialing. West end market this morning with Jialing Cheryl and David. 







Evidently I'm pretty addicted to Instangram! 



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#600 Good times, I miss you.
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[info]joyrideparade






Photos with people I love  )


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